Saturday, November 21, 2015

Superhuman Sunday #FastestManAlive #TourdeDonut

On November 1st, with the help of some tricks of time, I was able to run 7.4 miles in 5 minutes and bike 24.8 miles in 44 minutes. While it is actually possible for a human to ride a bicycle 25 miles in 45 minutes, that's either very rare talent or down a very big hill, neither of which I possess. Nor do I possess a time machine.
However, by leaving my house at 1:34am before the time change, running 7 miles and returning home at 1:39am, after the time change, I can claim to be the fastest man alive. Heck, at 88 mph, with a flux capacitor I could have actually travelled through time. Other than the trick with the time, it was a pretty normal run, just in the middle of the night. It was actually fun, and coming soon after a 3am run at Hood-to-Coast made me wonder why I don't run in the middle of the night more often. It probably has something to do with the sleep factor.
The trick with the bike ride, later in the morning after a few hours of sleep, was that in the Tour de Donut you receive a time bonus for donuts eaten during the ride. The ride starts near the "race director"'s house (this is not a formal event, just for fun and to raise a little money for charity) and stops at Krispy Kreme, Shipley, and Dunkin Donuts before ending at the top of a hill near the start. I didn't do nearly as well as I had hoped. I really would have liked to have ended up with a negative donut-adjusted time, but I didn't eat as many donuts as I had anticipated, and spent too much time eating them. My elapsed time was 1:55 and I received a bonus of 6x 3min (KK) + 3x 6min (Shipley) + 5x 7min (Dunkin). I did tie for the most number of donuts eaten, but frankly this was a much less competitive year than last, with past winners absent. It was a kind of beer mile level of awful fun. I, for one, do not intend to even touch another donut until next year's race. I'm not sure if (or how) I'll train next time, but I'll at least try to beat my first time.

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